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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 1, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Don Vito

Don Vito

Strength120
Speed20
Endurance40
Technique120
Molecular Density72.6
Existential Dread52
Fingers20
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Don Vito VS Grout Goblin Gary
Grout Goblin Gary

Grout Goblin Gary

74Strength
76Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
3.7Molecular Density
44Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Don Vito
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule