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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 1, 2025 at 8:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
George Harrison

George Harrison

Strength60
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique98
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
George Harrison VS Pork Chop Paradise
Pork Chop Paradise

Pork Chop Paradise

91Strength
65Speed
85Endurance
75Technique
3.2Molecular Density
8Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

George Harrison
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule