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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 2, 2025 at 7:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Buffer

The Buffer

Strength70
Speed64
Endurance91
Technique75
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread67
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Buffer VS Borrowed Time
Borrowed Time

☠️ Borrowed Time ☠️

72Strength
78Speed
69Endurance
81Technique
1.4Molecular Density
44Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Buffer
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule