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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 2, 2025 at 9:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Diplomatic Immunity

☠️ Diplomatic Immunity ☠️

Strength110
Speed86
Endurance57
Technique71
Molecular Density39.8
Existential Dread38
Fingers33
Toes21
TALE OF THE TAPE
Diplomatic Immunity VS Sixpack Santiago
Sixpack Santiago

Sixpack Santiago

88Strength
70Speed
92Endurance
65Technique
2.6Molecular Density
30Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Sixpack Santiago
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule