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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-03-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 3, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Nesticle

☠️ Nesticle ☠️

Strength70
Speed83
Endurance78
Technique69
Molecular Density48.5
Existential Dread91
Fingers7
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nesticle VS Syrup Strangler
Syrup Strangler

Syrup Strangler

78Strength
74Speed
73Endurance
75Technique
2.9Molecular Density
42Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Syrup Strangler
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule