TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-03-25
APPROVED
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Strength85
Speed70
Endurance88
Technique98
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare" VS Dr. Burnout Betty
Dr. Burnout Betty
70Strength
85Speed
95Endurance
92Technique
2.2Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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