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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 4, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Kennedy Loser

Kennedy Loser

Strength30
Speed40
Endurance35
Technique45
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Kennedy Loser VS Line Number Linda
Line Number Linda

Line Number Linda

50Strength
30Speed
100Endurance
95Technique
1.8Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Line Number Linda
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule