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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 4, 2025 at 4:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Crayon Scribble in Blood Red

Crayon Scribble in Blood Red

Strength85
Speed65
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread71
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crayon Scribble in Blood Red VS Nextdoor Neighbor Ned
Nextdoor Neighbor Ned

Nextdoor Neighbor Ned

75Strength
85Speed
65Endurance
75Technique
2.3Molecular Density
38Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Crayon Scribble in Blood Red
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule