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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 4, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Mayhem Breakfast

Mayhem Breakfast

Strength75
Speed88
Endurance72
Technique91
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread87
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mayhem Breakfast VS Bigfoot Believer Brenda
Bigfoot Believer Brenda

Bigfoot Believer Brenda

90Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
4.2Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bigfoot Believer Brenda
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule