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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 4, 2025 at 10:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Spandex Nightmare

Spandex Nightmare

Strength75
Speed90
Endurance78
Technique92
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread50
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Spandex Nightmare VS Krazy K
Krazy K

Krazy K

70Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
98Technique
2.4Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Spandex Nightmare
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule