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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 4, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Rubber Glizzy

Rubber Glizzy

Strength84
Speed75
Endurance94
Technique85
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread72
Fingers10
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Rubber Glizzy VS Dean of Discipline
Dean of Discipline

Dean of Discipline

85Strength
65Speed
95Endurance
90Technique
3.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dean of Discipline
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule