TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-05-25
APPROVED
☠️ Mop Chop Molly ☠️
Strength80
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique70
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mop Chop Molly VS Snack Attack Stan
Snack Attack Stan
70Strength
75Speed
85Endurance
70Technique
2.3Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Snack Attack Stan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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