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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-05-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 5, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Gross Gary

Gross Gary

Strength75
Speed70
Endurance70
Technique65
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread20
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gross Gary VS Empyrean Angel
Empyrean Angel

Empyrean Angel

70Strength
40Speed
100Endurance
90Technique
25.4Molecular Density
8Existential Dread
6Fingers
7Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Gross Gary
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule