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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
07-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, July 25, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"

Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"

Strength70
Speed70
Endurance85
Technique92
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time" VS Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy"
Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy"

Wheelchair Willie "No Mercy"

60Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
90Technique
1.8Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
7Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Pharmacy Phil "Wait Time"
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule