TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-15-25
APPROVED
The Intern
Strength61
Speed78
Endurance95
Technique66
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread109
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Intern VS Thighmaster Flex
Thighmaster Flex
98Strength
62Speed
91Endurance
49Technique
1.9Molecular Density
12Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Intern
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems