TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-15-25
APPROVED
Steve Irwin
Strength80
Speed85
Endurance90
Technique88
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Steve Irwin VS Jean-Claude Van Damme
Jean-Claude Van Damme
80Strength
95Speed
75Endurance
92Technique
2.1Molecular Density
30Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems