TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-15-25
APPROVED
The Last Two Percent
Strength98
Speed97
Endurance100
Technique100
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread100
Fingers2
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Last Two Percent VS John Cena
John Cena
95Strength
85Speed
90Endurance
80Technique
3.1Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Last Two Percent
Violence concluded.
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