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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-16-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 16, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Nick Carter

Nick Carter

Strength45
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nick Carter VS Pocket Protector Pete
Pocket Protector Pete

Pocket Protector Pete

50Strength
40Speed
60Endurance
70Technique
1.5Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Nick Carter
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule