TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-07-25
APPROVED
Social Anxiety Sam
Strength38
Speed45
Endurance52
Technique72
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread95
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Social Anxiety Sam VS Sausage Festival
Sausage Festival
85Strength
68Speed
90Endurance
72Technique
3.1Molecular Density
22Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Sausage Festival
Violence concluded.
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