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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-29-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 29, 2025 at 10:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Form 27-B Frank

Form 27-B Frank

Strength85
Speed45
Endurance98
Technique100
Molecular Density3.5
Existential Dread99
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Form 27-B Frank VS Swole Patroll
Swole Patroll

Swole Patroll

100Strength
72Speed
98Endurance
69Technique
4.2Molecular Density
8Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Swole Patroll
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule