TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-29-25
APPROVED
404 Not Found
Strength85
Speed95
Endurance65
Technique90
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers0
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
404 Not Found VS Lasagna Layer Lord
Lasagna Layer Lord
85Strength
60Speed
95Endurance
88Technique
3.6Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lasagna Layer Lord
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems