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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-30-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 30, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Chorby Short

Chorby Short

Strength45
Speed95
Endurance40
Technique85
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chorby Short VS Bob Ross
Bob Ross

Bob Ross

30Strength
40Speed
95Endurance
100Technique
1.2Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Chorby Short
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule