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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-31-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 31, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Ringo Starr

Ringo Starr

Strength45
Speed70
Endurance70
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Ringo Starr VS Moth With a Knife
Moth With a Knife

Moth With a Knife

15Strength
99Speed
45Endurance
76Technique
0.0Molecular Density
103Existential Dread
0Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Ringo Starr
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule