TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-31-25
APPROVED
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"
Strength45
Speed40
Endurance95
Technique98
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer" VS Fish Summer
Fish Summer
40Strength
98Speed
60Endurance
82Technique
1.1Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fish Summer
Violence concluded.
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