TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-01-26
APPROVED
Jerkoff Sysadmin Manager
Strength30
Speed120
Endurance120
Technique30
Molecular Density21.4
Existential Dread99
Fingers7
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Jerkoff Sysadmin Manager VS PowerPoint Paul “The Closer”
PowerPoint Paul “The Closer”
60Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
90Technique
2.6Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
PowerPoint Paul “The Closer”
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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