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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-01-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 1, 2026 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Swisher Sweet

Swisher Sweet

Strength75
Speed75
Endurance75
Technique75
Molecular Density28.4
Existential Dread88
Fingers12
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Swisher Sweet VS Mookie Sanders
Mookie Sanders

Mookie Sanders

120Strength
100Speed
20Endurance
60Technique
84.6Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Mookie Sanders
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule