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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-02-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, January 2, 2026 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Baby Triumphant

Baby Triumphant

Strength35
Speed60
Endurance30
Technique98
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers5
Toes5
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baby Triumphant VS Last Pick Larry
Last Pick Larry

Last Pick Larry

41Strength
58Speed
44Endurance
66Technique
1.2Molecular Density
83Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Baby Triumphant
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule