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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-08-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 8, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Baby Triumphant

Baby Triumphant

Strength35
Speed60
Endurance30
Technique98
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers5
Toes5
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baby Triumphant VS Dean of Discipline
Dean of Discipline

Dean of Discipline

85Strength
65Speed
95Endurance
90Technique
3.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dean of Discipline
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule