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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-09-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, August 9, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Background Blur Betty

Background Blur Betty

Strength55
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Background Blur Betty VS Denture Deborah
Denture Deborah

Denture Deborah

55Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
85Technique
1.4Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
6Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Background Blur Betty
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule