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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-09-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, August 9, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
AJ McLean

AJ McLean

Strength55
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique88
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
AJ McLean VS BO BAX JR FACT
BO BAX JR FACT

BO BAX JR FACT

60Strength
100Speed
60Endurance
80Technique
38.9Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

BO BAX JR FACT
Violence concluded.
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