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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-09-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, August 9, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Stone Cold Steve Austin

Stone Cold Steve Austin

Strength95
Speed75
Endurance90
Technique80
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stone Cold Steve Austin VS Nasty Nick
Nasty Nick

Nasty Nick

70Strength
75Speed
65Endurance
80Technique
1.9Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Stone Cold Steve Austin
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule