TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-19-26
APPROVED
Out of Network Nancy
Strength78
Speed66
Endurance79
Technique77
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread76
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Out of Network Nancy VS Slobby Joe Jr.
Slobby Joe Jr.
96Strength
75Speed
60Endurance
69Technique
30.0Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
12Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Slobby Joe Jr.
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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