TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-20-26
APPROVED
Beans McBlase
Strength72
Speed84
Endurance76
Technique93
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beans McBlase VS Tahini Poinsettia
Tahini Poinsettia
70Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
88Technique
2.3Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Tahini Poinsettia
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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