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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-21-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 21, 2026 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Square Root

Square Root

Strength57
Speed80
Endurance63
Technique100
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread73
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Square Root VS wilson
wilson

wilson

93Strength
78Speed
81Endurance
48Technique
10.8Molecular Density
54Existential Dread
12Fingers
14Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

wilson
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule