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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-21-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 21, 2026 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Maybe Tomorrow

Maybe Tomorrow

Strength55
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique88
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Maybe Tomorrow VS Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney

55Strength
75Speed
80Endurance
92Technique
2.1Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Paul McCartney
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule