TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-21-26
APPROVED
Kevlar Breakfast
Strength95
Speed65
Endurance95
Technique70
Molecular Density5.1
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Kevlar Breakfast VS Tale of the Broken Elevator
Tale of the Broken Elevator
80Strength
60Speed
90Endurance
95Technique
2.7Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Tale of the Broken Elevator
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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