TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-21-26
APPROVED
Are You Afraid of the Shark
Strength93
Speed89
Endurance77
Technique86
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Are You Afraid of the Shark VS Polymer Paradise
Polymer Paradise
91Strength
77Speed
89Endurance
79Technique
3.7Molecular Density
37Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Polymer Paradise
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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