TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-09-25
APPROVED
Brisket Friendo
Strength85
Speed65
Endurance80
Technique75
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Brisket Friendo VS One More Episode Ed
One More Episode Ed
55Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
90Technique
1.9Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Brisket Friendo
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems