TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-22-26
APPROVED
Captain Yawnpunch
Strength55
Speed38
Endurance88
Technique84
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread67
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Captain Yawnpunch VS Verne Troyer
Verne Troyer
35Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
1.1Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Captain Yawnpunch
Violence concluded.
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