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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-22-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 22, 2026 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Basement Dweller Brad

Basement Dweller Brad

Strength43
Speed42
Endurance62
Technique75
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread78
Fingers14
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Basement Dweller Brad VS Howie Dorough
Howie Dorough

Howie Dorough

40Strength
65Speed
55Endurance
82Technique
1.4Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Basement Dweller Brad
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule