TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-22-26
APPROVED
Toaster Bath
Strength57
Speed78
Endurance78
Technique97
Molecular Density33.0
Existential Dread24
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Toaster Bath VS Granite Sinclair
Granite Sinclair
99Strength
52Speed
97Endurance
52Technique
2.8Molecular Density
3Existential Dread
0Fingers
0Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Toaster Bath
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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