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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-22-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 22, 2026 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Mx. Noodle

Mx. Noodle

Strength19
Speed108
Endurance86
Technique87
Molecular Density0.2
Existential Dread44
Fingers0
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mx. Noodle VS The Misnomer
The Misnomer

The Misnomer

91Strength
54Speed
89Endurance
66Technique
1.3Molecular Density
17Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Misnomer
Violence concluded.
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