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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-23-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, January 23, 2026 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ⏱️ VIOLENCE PENDING
Supplement Steve "Boss Babe"

Supplement Steve "Boss Babe"

Strength80
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique80
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread65
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Supplement Steve "Boss Babe" VS Engine Eberhardt
Engine Eberhardt

Engine Eberhardt

90Strength
75Speed
85Endurance
70Technique
3.5Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
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