TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-23-26
APPROVED
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Strength85
Speed70
Endurance88
Technique98
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare" VS Stone Cold Steve Austin
Stone Cold Steve Austin
95Strength
75Speed
90Endurance
80Technique
3.2Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
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