TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-11-25
APPROVED
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Strength95
Speed75
Endurance90
Technique80
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stone Cold Steve Austin VS George Harrison
George Harrison
60Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
98Technique
1.7Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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