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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, August 11, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Stone Cold Steve Austin

Stone Cold Steve Austin

Strength95
Speed75
Endurance90
Technique80
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stone Cold Steve Austin VS George Harrison
George Harrison

George Harrison

60Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
98Technique
1.7Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Stone Cold Steve Austin
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule