TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-11-25
APPROVED
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
Strength85
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique88
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble VS Millipede Aqualuft
Millipede Aqualuft
60Strength
81Speed
74Endurance
78Technique
2.2Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
1000Fingers
1000Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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