TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-12-25
APPROVED
Engine Eberhardt
Strength90
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique70
Molecular Density3.5
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Engine Eberhardt VS Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger
95Strength
65Speed
88Endurance
75Technique
4.2Molecular Density
10Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Violence concluded.
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