TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-12-25
APPROVED
Mike Tyson
Strength98
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mike Tyson VS First Sunday
First Sunday
95Strength
120Speed
20Endurance
65Technique
81.2Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
15Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mike Tyson
Violence concluded.
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