TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-12-25
APPROVED
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
Strength75
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique85
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network" VS Xandra Pancakes
Xandra Pancakes
65Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
92Technique
2.0Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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