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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-12-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 12, 2025 at 7:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Stone Cold Steve Austin

Stone Cold Steve Austin

Strength95
Speed75
Endurance90
Technique80
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stone Cold Steve Austin VS Chorby Short
Chorby Short

Chorby Short

45Strength
95Speed
40Endurance
85Technique
1.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Stone Cold Steve Austin
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule